Same Relations… Different Effects

On my graduation day, when the merit list was announced, all the people present out there had their eyes set on Ankit. Why wouldn’t our attentions be drawn towards him? After all he was the most meritorious student in the past four years of study. Once the ceremony concluded each one of us had our degrees in our hand. I later went ahead and congratulated Ankit. He was my classmate for the past four years, but not closest among my friends.

I was always curious to talk to him, though I never had the opportunity to interact with him closely. He was silent, and would always be accompanied by three people, namely Ajay, Arjun and Aditi. This group was formed on a strange basis. Since all their names began with the alphabet ‘A’, their names in the roll call were consecutive. So for project work, practical sessions and internal assessments, they had to co-operate with each other. There was one thing in common amongst them; that was they never mingled with any person out side their group.

I knew Ajay even before he joined this college. Both of us were college mates at the junior college level. Arjun and Aditi too were each other’s college mates at the junior college level and Ankit, the cleverest amongst them was from a different city. Another observation done by me revealed that all of them were in the ‘top-ten’ category right from school days to junior college days. The same trend continued at our professional college. I was clueless regarding Ankit’s past merit. But it was easy for anyone to guess that he too would have been in the same elite category at the previous study levels. I had several such questions regarding him, which I never put across to him and were left unanswered. So for the first time in four years I decided to talk to him, this time more openly and at a more personal level.

“Hey Ankit! Congratulations! Yours has been a phenomenal achievement. Topping the class for all the four years is not easy. But may be you continued with your past habit. I guess you would have been a topper at your school and junior college too.” He humbly smiled at me and said, “I just got lucky… I never planed or worked towards it. By the way, it was at this college I stood first in the exams, almost for the first time in my life. Never before was I so lucky.” My first guess about Ankit was a wrong one. I responded, “Oh really! It is hard to believe. So how come this sudden progress. I mean what were the things you did differently to stand out here?” The response which I got for this question was a very long one. It restored my beliefs in many facts of life, which I had been overlooking for a long time in my life…

He asked me, “Do you have some time right now? I have been waiting to answer this question since a long time, but unfortunately no one asked me.” I was sure to hear some words of wisdom from a genius. So, I obviously said ‘yes’ and he narrated me few instances of his life, listening to which, my opinion regarding him went higher. He said…

I was good student at my school, but never amongst the class toppers. At my junior college, I couldn’t continue to do well. In fact I developed a fear to do well. The situation was totally different. I did my schooling, right from K.G. to 10th at Satara, before my father was transferred to Mumbai where I completed my junior college. At my school, I had many friends, whom I knew since the age of 4 years. So getting adjusted to a new city, new college and new friends was never going to be easy. But time passed on, and now I was in a gang of three people. I can never forget them, Sameer, Roger and Ashwini. All of them were from same city; in fact they were class mates for over a decade. Each of them had their individual strong subjects. Sameer was very strong in Mathematics, Roger in Physics, while Ashwini was unbeatable in Chemistry. So being with such people was beneficial to a certain extent.

It all started after our 11th standard exams, where in I topped the class. I secured more scores in all the subjects than the trio. This perhaps irritated them. They dint respond in any way until our 12th standard classes commenced. They had decided to target me. By now I had become most of the teacher’s favorite student. So while I would answer in some classes, they would imitate my style of talking, etc. Initially I dint consider this seriously, but later on it went beyond limits. This teasing had induced a kind of fear and insecurity in my mind. So I started to bunk classes and avoid studies. In the mean time, on my health front too this affected me. I was having several psychological problems due to this on going episode in the class. Just a month before my final exams, I had a nervous break down. The effect was so awe full, that I could not take up my exams. I had lost all my hopes in life. I had faced the most forgetful instance of my life. I saw myself going nowhere in the future.

The next year I had only one aim. That was to prepare well for the public exams and get admission at a good professional college. I had also made a firm decision of not having any friends for a life time. My experience in friendship was bitter and regretful. I was suffering for no real mistake of mine. As I had determined, I did fairly well and got an admission. But my performance wasn’t as good as I had prepared for.

Then, I came here. For the first few days, as decided firmly, I never spoke to any person. But I was getting good response from Arjun, Aditi and Ajay. They were very co-operative in the lab sessions and assignments. Even in my previous gang, all was fine at the beginning. Usually things are always sweet at the beginning. But with time, they become bitter. Our first year exams got over and few days later we got our results. I stood first. Ironically I never enjoyed it. My past bitter experience had similar root cause. There developed a strange fear of standing first, in my mind. I was prepared to tolerate some insults and taunts from my new friends. To my surprise, while I was attending the graduation ceremony of the then out going batch, Aditi said to me, “Ankit I really want you to be the topper for all the four years. Look at our out going senior Raghuveer, who is receiving a medallion for being a consistent rank holder. It is such an honor. I feel you fit into his shoes. Since you put in lot of efforts and have the potential, you really deserve it. Along side you, even my burden in academics reduces. Make this your aim” Ajay and Arjun too nodded their heads, signaling to me that they too shared the same feeling. My every single effort was appreciated by them. This gave me the most important self confidence, which I had lost couple of years back. On one hand there were Aswhini, Roger and Sameer, who taunted me on my right deeds and on the other hand were Aditi, Ajay and Arjun who appreciated me and encouraged me to perform better. They wanted my initial success to develop into a big success story. Today, what I have achieved is all dedicated to the three great friends of mine. These guys not only encouraged me, but also helped me restore my faith in friendship, which again I had lost from my past experience.

In the final year, I got a job in one of the leading MNC and also got the opportunity to do my internship at the same place. There a stunning incident happened which further opened me up in life. I happened to meet Ashwini, one of the most terrible people in my life. Later she found that I too had got a job at the same place where she was working for the past six months. In fact in next six months, I would be joining the same company at a better position in comparison to her. So it would be a great opportunity for me to give something back and settle the scores, was a thought which came in my mind.

Ashwini wanted to talk to me, but I clearly sensed guilt in her eyes. She somehow managed to gather all her strength and approached me. She begged for pardon a hundred times and gave various reasons for her misbehavior. She finally said that she regrets her behavior so much that if god had to grant her a wish, her only wish would have been to present her with an eraser, which would help her wipe out her past mistakes, which led to my failure then. I immediately gave up the idea of taking any sort of revenge, but said to her that, “Unfortunately there exists no eraser in this world that helps us wipe out our mistakes in past. However we can erase those thoughts which arise deliberately to harm others.” With these words I left that place. Excusing Ashwini was not an easy job. I am ultimately an ordinary person, not the great Gautama Buddha. But I was sure, she had changed. Even I had changed after that incidence. So it wasn’t hard for me to believe that. May be what she did then was out of immaturity. People commit mistakes at an amateur level, for which they can only repent, but never rectify it.

Before Ankit completed narrating this incidence, his eyes were loaded with tears. I now knew the reason for his reserved behavior in the class for four long years. What he underwent was not a desirable experience for any person. But may be without it, he wouldn’t have done as well as he did in the past four years. I’m not sure academically, but as a person, he had grown stronger and better. His thoughts were more refined now. He had acquired the ability to educate people just by sighting his life as an example. I consider myself fortunate to be the first person to learn some important lessons of life from him.